This posts is just going to be one GIANT update for you. There is so much going on and I really wanted to condense it down, but I ramble. So enjoy.
The universe is testing me. I know it.
We thought we had completed everything we needed to get our home fully certified to be a foster home. It really is amazing how many hoops you have to jump through to become foster children. I mean, I totally get it, and I am happy to do it all – the children’s safety is of the upmost importance. But goodness, people out there just have babies.
They don’t attend numerous classes/take tests, get CPR certified, get fire and health inspections on their homes, extensive background checks (fingerprints and everything), notes from doctors saying they are able to take care of kids, monitor all pet health (which we were doing regardless of this, but you’d be amazed how many people are like WHAT, MY PETS NEEDS YEARLY SHOTS?), physicals and TB tests.
Yes, TB tests. That’s what we forgot to do.
Cody recalls her mentioning something last fall, but I was in and out of the hospital for other reasons and don’t remember a lot of what went on during some of that time. So we go to schedule it, they only do it on Monday-Wed, to ensure you can come in Thursday or Friday to review the results. So we tried to schedule. But Cody’s insurance changed at the beginning of the year and our PCP does not take it.
I just don’t want to go to any doctor. I am so hesitant about going to any doctor for myself right now. After all I went through last year, I wanted to go to someone who knew me, who knew my body, and everything I had gone through and wouldn’t want to go all over my history ALL OVER AGAIN so I could get an effing TB test. I was a bit emotional about it. Cody was pissed because his work said nothing would change when they made the switch to a new company. It’s not like my doctor worked for some rando organization – it’s freaking Baylor Scott and White.
When I found our PCP I did LOADS of research. When I found my OBGYN here in Austin, I did LOADS of research. I don’t just go to ANY doctor anymore. So I began my research all over again. ALL OVER AGAIN. The good news part of this is that I may have our PCP be at the same hospital my OBGYN is at so all my records will transfer. The bad news is, that since we didn’t get certified within a year of taking the original classes last spring (we were supposed to open our home last summer/early fall, but that is when I first got sick and EVERYTHING got put on hold for the remainder of the year), we have to retake all the classes again.
I tell myself it’s because the universe has a child/kid that they want to be ready for us. And that it’s just not the right time, and everything is happening because it all has to happen at the exact right moment so we get the child/kid we were destined to have.
But it is all a little bit frustrating.
I’ve been really trying to focus on my writing the past few weeks and this month. I got in almost 18,000 words on the third book in my The Halves of Us series in February, and I need to do triple that in March. It’s really kind of daunting.
It’s been super scary writing this last book. I had written portions of it and had an EXTREMELY rough outline a few years ago, before I knew where book 2 of the series was going. Once that was finalized SO MUCH CHANGED and I had this goal of writing book 3 last fall – but my life was upside down July-December of last year thanks to multiple health concerns and surgeries (you can read about that here).
So I started this year brand new with finalizing book 2 (out this April and available for preorder from my publisher here). And then I began writing book 3 (which I have tentatively begun calling TSOU – I haven’t announced the title yet). Writing TSOU is scary. I want to do the characters justice. I want to tell their story right. But also this has been something that I have been holding on to for a decade.
A DECADE, PEOPLE.
I’m saying goodbye to it. I’m getting it all out and it will no longer be in the depths of my mind. And it truly is terrifying. But let me end this on a happy note and show you the amazing sketch I commissioned for The Reflections of Us. R is super talented (check out his Instagram). I can’t wait to see the color version he creates, because I adore this black and white version.
I am also working on a super top secret subject I call CCCV. I haven’t fully decided if it is NA or YA, but goodness I am in love with this story. My critique group is obsessing over it too, so I know I am on the right track.
I recently shared with you that I got my first (and definitely not the last) rejection on a conceptual photography submission (you can read about that here). I thought it would sting, but the hundreds of literary rejections have prepared me for this. I was actually pretty happy about it.
I put myself out there, and the first one is always the hardest to do. Now I feel less hesitant to push that submit button. Here is one of the other photos that got rejected:
I called it Awakening. It really represented to me everything I had gone through last year (health wise) and how it had sparked something inside me like never before with my creating and photography. I really feel like I am waking up for the first time and seeing what I am capable of doing.
I have many cool things I am planning on right how. I am hopefully shooting at this old Victorian home later this month, and in April I am shooting a couple that are friends of mine for a few surreal ideas I have, and in May I am shooting an aerialist – which I am freaking stoked about! Meanwhile, I am building something with my Dad for a collection I plan on shooting this summer! Things are happening people. I also spent this evening reading poetry and planned ten new shots!