My Version of Therapy – A Personal Post

*This is not a normal post, though it does include pictures from a session. It as a personal post. Please continue on to view more pictures and posts by SPP.*

So these past week or so has been pretty hard. I am choosing to write this in a hotel room, in Seguin, while waiting to go to sleep.
I am in town to photograph a wedding tomorrow. Thankfully, I have my second shooter and my best friend, Kari Tilley with me.

I do not do personal posts that often on this blog, but I felt the need to do this one. With everything that’s been going on, I did a therapy photography session. Let me explain…
Last week on December 19th, my grandparents were in a horrible accident. My Grandfather passed away. My Grandmother was life flighted to Herman Memorial in downtown Houston, TX. She had physical injuries, but she told me what hurt the most was her heart.
During her hospital time, I did two of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. Tell my Grandfather’s sister that her brother had passed on. And cut up my Grandmother’s food and feed it to her, without crying. (The without crying was the hard part).  I was so glad she was okay, but it pained me to see her in so much pain.
She use to make me breakfast when I was younger. Cinnamon toast. Cutting the bread from corner to corner.
She was released from the hospital that Friday. The day before my 25th birthday. I got super sick that night, but my husband still took me to a concert for my birthday. I had two great friends that came along.
Christmas seemed like a blur, from the sickness that didn’t seem to go away, the lingering sadness and just an unreal feeling.
It didn’t feel real. My Grandmother, who we call MommaMilly, said it perfectly, ‘I feel like I am in a bad dream.’

The only thing I could think of to do was to distract myself. My cousin Hannah (who is more like a sister to me) came to stay at my house. We drank wine and at sherbet with sprinkles. A tradition of ours, dating back to our younger years (minus the wine). I asked her if she would let me photograph her the next day. To get my mind off things.
I decided to do a levitation session. She glad to be apart, though unsure what I was asking her to do – she trusted me. 
The session ended up being very therapeutic. We went to visit MommaMilly and outside her house, that evening, we began. When I returned home, I got straight to editing. I finally finished my two favorite photos from the session just tonight here at the hotel. Though there are a few others, I felt best to share these at the end of this post.

The funeral was on the 27th. And of course, it was wet and cold. My fever was still going strong. But I put on a hoodie, and armed myself with a box of tissues, powerade, cough drops and throat spray.
He didn’t even look like himself. I held my youngest sister (age 11) as she cried. I tried to be strong, but cried along with her. 
He was in the Army and the Marines. So they had the firing of the guns and the trumpet playing. I had to close my eyes, and the tears felt so warm against my cold cheeks.
My Mother seemed so strong. I knew she was putting on her strong face. I tell her all the time, no matter what, I can always read her and tell how she was feeling. She was breaking.

I didn’t stay long back at MommaMilly’s house due to my fever. We didn’t want to risk me spreading my sickness. But I told her I loved her and I would be back as soon as I could.
With two weddings scheduled this weekend, I know it will keep my mind preoccupied. But I felt the need to do this post to get my mind cleared. To continue the therapy for myself.

So here is two pictures from my levitation session with Hannah.  In remembrance of family, love and souls moving forward.


  • Ashley Robyn

    Special thought your way sweet Sydney of peace and comfort during such a hard, transitioning time. I only wish I had words to say to make the pain and sadness go away. Will be thinking of you and you sweet family, especially mommamilly. The times like these make me so happy we have memories and photography. Can't wait to see pictures from your 2 weddings

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